domingo, 18 de noviembre de 2007

poem

ignorance implicates us
in its fabricated
tapestry of lies
close your eyes
and imagine this world
with out suffering, with out violence
... with out people.
And so you stand alone.
With out responsibility from
the chains that bound you
to this earth
the chains that found you
at your birth
have been cut
all ties to humanity
human sanity
have been cut
you stand alone
pretending you are not a product of a past
but this past
is long living, forever sinning
and will outlast
this current generation
Alone, you stand
upon claimed land
staring into the abyss
of a mass gravsite called Earth.
But who piled on the dirt?
With victory cry
shovel held high, the voice screams
I did this for you!
For you, my family!
For you America!
For you! For you! For you!
and our silence is our complicity
it packs the dirt,
on this massive gravesite city
unless we realize our chains
are from our silence.
no longer bound
creating from silence a sound
of our voice shouting
No!
You do not kill for me
You do not hate for me
Not!
For!
Me!
But its not the guilt upon our backs
that need force us speak out and act
But Love!
And love of life. all life.
Because this world is filled with people

martes, 13 de noviembre de 2007

Tumaco

I spoke too soon inside my head when i arrived yesterday. I thought this was a beautiful little town on the waters edge. i was so excited to see the ocean. Alas... my day was smashed with a reality check today when i went in search of boats to float gailily around in. This town is poor. dirty. it smells. poor? very poor. i have never seen a big city this poor. Small towns, yes, worse off. with out electricity, running water, etc. The houses are built into the water on supports for lack of land. Where the water has receded it leaves a big hole of mud filled with garbage for much of the waters edge houses. Lack of resources? I think not. This is a port town. With oil. lots of oil sent from Popoyan as i learned yesterday. as well as various other things. That explains the heavy military presence. They searched my bus on the way in, and made us all stand out in the rain as they checked for... drugs? Costumed men in green are everywhere. sometimes they like to scare me when i am walking along thinking my own little thoughts... a sound hisses out at me! a snake? no. something snake like... and military uniformed has called to me from his camafloughed perch. Today they were on their best beviour. i wanted to walk around the town in search of the peninsula. about five or six of them started sweetly shouting gringa! hey gringa! and mami! at me. and whistling loudly. such nice boys. and then i do not know who to attribute this next act of flattery to, but as i was walking back to my hotel a car drove by and someone reached out and grabbed ahold of my arm. scared the shit out of me. Such nice boys....
i am getting the fuck out of here tomorrow.

viernes, 9 de noviembre de 2007

reading

more tidbits: I am ploughing through my history textbook in spanish, but it is slow going. So i finally cave in and checked out some books from the library in english. An interesting comparison of numbers: Chilean dirty war - 17 yrs. 3,000 political killings. Argentina 8 years- 9,000 politically motivated killings. Colombia, 1986-1994, 28,500 politically motivated killings.... it was much easier to hide under "drug war" and the government often portrayed itself as a victim cocaine and guerrila warfare. However, the violence of the state commited more atrocites than all the other dictatorships in Latin America combined. And this was just in a period of 8 years. The writer of this new book discusses the tactics taught by U.S manuals of the "climate of fear" that to combat internal conflict the government must use violence in a manner so as to terrify the community into subjugation and silence. Killing is used not only to rid the city of "problematic" people, but to intimitate through use of torture. some of the examples given are absolutely horrific. The one i can`t get out of my mind is the story of a woman coming home to find her entire family decapitated. each body was sitting in a chair with its head on the table in front of it. The hands of the body were placed where their heads should have been. The baby`s hands were too little and were nailed to its body. guesomly horrific. As i began reading this book my roommate came in and we began a discussion of media violations. For example, two weeks ago a high up leader of one of the farc factions was killed by the police. His face was plastered all over the newspapers. His dead bloody face. And let us not forget the hanging of Saddam Hussein. Shown on international television and newspapers everywhere. I need look no farther than popular culture to begin comtemplating how it is possible to decapitate a baby and make a joke out of it.
to be continued....

martes, 30 de octubre de 2007

we wear the mask

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

Paul Laurence Dunbar

lunes, 29 de octubre de 2007

teaching

more on the saga of teaching...
the bane of my existence. Today went very well. It helps a lot to prepare lessons i have decided. But can be somewhat hindered when i am not given a book untill five minutes before class. But i had brought in a poem from Paul Lawrence Dunbar. We wear the mask... its one of my favorites. analyzed vocab, then pronunciation excercise. Say it faster and faster! get a rhythm going. I did it for two classes. It is good practice to do it twice. Then discuss its meaning. Then in my second class a game: i wash my ass ... in order that.... i am in paradise. kids are so creative. Games are fun. And a good help. Sometimes i forget learning a language can also be fun.
Saturday, went volunteering in Galan again. and once again the building was occupied by police. They were using our classroom so we didn`t have a white board, or markers, or ... nada. At least all the police were locked up in the room rather than wandering around brandishing their weapons like last time. I was supposed to give an english lessons, but for lack of materials and too large a class just sat with different groups to present the basics.
Elections were yesterday. Samuel Moreno won for mayor of Bogota. (partido del Polo) This was a great success for polo party. (some view polo as communist) with more people voting than ever before and a landslide victory even though the other candidate had support and money from the president.
Problems encountered. In this "democracy" usually not even half the eligible voters vote. Threats from the government, paramilitaries, Farc, are a large factor. Disinterest is probably the biggest. Corruption, lack of real visible changes, etc. create a disallusionment very widespread. But if democracy is winning 23% of the populations consent that you are not quite as bad as the other rich,(white) male... then hey, join the world. Some changes are positive. The mayor of Bogota previously was also part of the Polo party. Bogota spends a lot of money on its public schools now, has been adopting measures to disarm, more freedom of the press, soup kitchens, etc. But at the same time - allocating a few million dollars to improve public schools by the mayor is displaced by congress taking away 35 million dollars from education to go to the military. (these stats are not exact. ballpark are guess - it is actually a larger percentage that has been taken from education to fund the war, but i`ll have to look it up later)
Conclusion: the mayor of bogota is doing good things for the city. relatively powerful compared to a mayor in the estados unidos. Its a long road though for "the oldest democracy in latin america" to be truly representative of its people.

jueves, 25 de octubre de 2007

teaching

Reconciling differences. How to work in an environment where I am forced to cover certain things in the book. To discuss issues such as intolerance and stereotypes, what i wear.. of filling out paperwork. (paperwork? bleh)
I still don´t dress very formal. i have been sneaking in with jeans, and occaisonally have come from the gym in a t-shirt and waiting for my boss to harass me. But i give classes on the third floor, the bosses are on the second.. muahawaw.
the difficulty i have had lately is sharing a class with other teachers. who need me to cover certain things in the book because they will be doing part two. In classes i do on my own it allows for more creativity. To use the book as a guide and bring in supplemental materials. But to have to do every single excercise from the book or risk the other teachers being rude to me? (which just happened last friday... she claimed it took her two hours to do a ten minute grammar excercise...)
yeah yeah...
My classes: i have tended to have a lot more discussions than me talking. Right now i lack being able to teach grammar in a creative way. I will have to work on that. I like our discussions though. I sometimes wonder if they are learning anything though. With beginners it is much easier to show their improvement. With advanced? Or perhaps i am just projecting my own frustrations with learning lanugages onto my students. Is my spanish even improving? I have almost given up. Perhaps switch to chinese. i think it would be easier.

Thoughts on "Kite Runner" (If you are planning to read the book, don´t read this) When i started this book i was very impressed. It is about the childhood of a young afghan, along with his sevant Hassan, and the Russian invasion, and later he moves to America with his father. It brought up many issues about the clashes of poverty vs. wealth. as Hassan is more courageus, often smarter even though he can´t read, a better person overall than Amir. Hassan is raped and Amir watches with out intervening. Later in the book he is able to rescue Hassan´s son Sohrab. I think this shoudn´t have happened. I think it would have been more powerfull to not have a chance to undo the wrongs. also he gets beat up very badly by the Taliban. And through this mutilation of his body he is healed at last from his wounds. Why is the cycle of violence used as a symbol of healing. "of getting what you deservered" as if an eye for an eye is the only way to peace. America was never criticized in this book. I view this as disgusting. It was written for an American audience and fails to ask the question... those who were moved by the horrible violence and terrors of the book not need look to their country´s policies and wonder how they are responsible. But America was the land of the free, of opportunities.... who did not apparently plant land mines that killed Hassans father.... more later.

sábado, 20 de octubre de 2007

remembering christian

On our way to Galan, where they have sarturday school for the kids of the trabajadores. Gabriel tells me there is a change of plans. A kid just died so we will go to his funeral. Christian was 16 years old. He drowned in a pool, yet the details are unknown. did he dive in and hit his head? was he too drunk and just passed out? but he is dead now, just a 16 year old boy. He was part of the group of jóvenes that taught after school to help the younger kids in school. The caskett was brought out and a proccession of people began following behind it as it circled around to the church. This is when it hit me - that there was a dead boy there. Not just some idea, but a real body. A drowned body.
We marched on to the cemetery. I tried to write a poem about the event today. But i cannot put it into words. How can i describe a mother`s grief as i feel chills through my body when she falls to the ground and begins sobbing and screaming. His sixteen year old body being lowered into the ground. What kind of event is this for me to practice my writing skills? They have been buried with the boy.
My grief has never been uncontrolable. But the grief of others affects me almost more than my own.


This event has made me think about death a lot. Being an atheist I am completley at peace for when I die. I have no concerns about being burned to death in hell. I do not fear god, or hell, or fell compelled any longer to kneal or make the sign of the cross in church. I have many questions unanswered. But these questions to not bother me because it doesn`t affect how i act on earth. But what about another person who holds different beliefs? perhaps a different view on death would be easiar for a community to handle. It was one of the most heartwrenching funerals i have ever been to. The celebration of life is long forgotten in the feelings of pain and loss of death. He was just sixteen... jaime`s age.
I do not want to be buried in the ground. i prefer cremation, and spread to the wind. I feel my soul would be trapped and cold to be covered with earth.

domingo, 14 de octubre de 2007

villa de leyva

what a beautiful day! I woke up yesterday morning and decided to leave for the weekend. it is completely ridiculous for me to be in colombia for so long and not to have experienced other cities.
Arrived somewhat late only to discover that every single hotel was full. But there was one... way up in the woods. It is weird coming from a dangerous city to a safe city. The mindset doesn`t change as easily. i was scared shitless walking up by myself into the woods. i confess, i turned back twice. But later i am going to go hiking up in the forest and it is completely safe. (unless i trip again and land on a stick that pierces my heart, not completely ruled out)


random thoughts from reading last night, formatted in an email to Julie:

One essay i just read was about disarming the world and using sanctions, or economic means in order to enforce law. A world with out war and weapons? The idea seemed almost absurd to me at first. Then the more i thought about it the more i realized how indoctrinated i have been to thinking that war is inevitable. It has really opened my eyes not only to the inhumanity of war (which i have always believed) but the impracticality. The unreasonableness! Such as mutally assured destruction: The idea that we fear being destroyed so we create more and more weapons in order to prevent our destruction? " In a perfected nuclear deterrence, the knowledge in a disarmed world that rearmament potentially means extinction would become the deterrent" We know we can become extinct. That is the reason that nuclear weapons should stop becing created. Because the only deterence we depend on now is the sanity of military officials, of the humanity of governments, and counting on that there are no mistakes made. Not a good track record..


How much war we could prevent if our foriegn policy was actually peace! Arundhati Roy gave a really great example of how the American forces threw down packaged meals for the millions of starved people after we bombed them. and asked " is pride a luxury only the rich are entitled to?" Or the idea of America ever having tried peace as a foriegn policy. as so many claim that `force is the only thing "they" respect. And how absurd that thought is, yet voiced with one collective idea that America must kill in order to prevent hatred.
You were right about the abortion blog. definetly masochistic. I view the interaction positive in only the sense that i researched and expanded my ideas on the topic. Other than that i deleted emails with out even reading them from the other woman....
And it finally stopped raining out. i can go outside an play in the sunshine! at least for ten minutes before it starts storming again.

miércoles, 10 de octubre de 2007

abortion debate with Annie (author of anti choice blog)

I want to just briefly touch on the statistics point because i think thatthere is simply a misunderstanding. correlation shows a connection betweenthe two things. in this case abortion rates cannot be shown to connectdirectly with education of condoms and contraception. There are too manyvariables. it doesn´t matter that pp is the single. largest. provider.(variables include increased access, chaning social attitudes, preg.resulted in inconsistently using contraception, or none at all...the listis large) therefore, there is not a direct correlation.

There is a point we agree on. That abortion is a difficult process. I have met many people who believe that the ´pro choice´crowd push abortion. Iam a strong advocate for counseling before and after an abortion. Each woman knows her life and her body better than any other person, so it isnot up to me to offer my advice or my push my opinion to a pregnant woman.

You mentioned early on ´The entity inside women that is being terminated by abortion, or emergency contraception in some cases, is not your or my own body.´ i think this is a fundamental point for the abortion debate. I copy and paste this next part because i could not have said it better myself

¨No matter how much value we place on a fetus's potential life, it isstill inside the woman's body. To pretend that the pregnant woman isseparate - or as the discussion of fetal surgery suggests, irrelevant andnon-existent - is to deny her not only her rights, but also her humanity.¨www.protectchoice.org
The fact is, the fetus is a part of the women´s body. you mention that then newborn baby could not survive with out mothering. i agree. but i disagree that a fetus is on the same plane as a newborn baby. distinctions must be made. your definition would also place disabled people, or old people who cannot care for themselves and must be fed- bathed, etc. on the same level as a fetus. A baby is inside the woman for 9 months for a reason. It is developing neccesary organs -heart, skin, spinal cord, etc. If you took the baby out too soon by c-secion perhaps, it would not survive no matter how much ´mothering´you gave it. the analagy was also given that the baby is living because it is not the same as a human leg? i failed to follow the logic of this arguement. could you elaborate please, annie.

Let´s discuss contraception. i completely agree with you that some are dangerous to women´s health. which is dispicable and should be punishableby law. Some companies have knowingly profited by unsafe contraceptives andsold them anyways. ¨Depo was involuntarily tested on 14,000 women from 1967 to 1978, byUpjohn, Inc. 50% of the subjects were African American, low income andrural women subjected to trials without their consent. Today poor women,women of color, and young women are targeted users.¨ http://www.sistersong.net/documents/RJBriefingBook.pdfBut

But there are alternatives. And these alternatives should be safe, and the proper information given. If there are risks they should be known. For example, certain contraceptives can cause a higher rate of breast cancer. Then this is the choice of the woman to decide if she wants to take that risk or not. The information should not be withheld, nor should contraception be pushed. There are many resonably safe options out therethough, including condoms. sex education: while this is increasing related to AIDS, STD´s, and pregnancy the sad fact is that the government is on a campaign to limiti nformation that could be life saving. ¨Between 1996 and 2005, Congress committed over $1.1 billion through both federal and state matching funds to "abstinence-only" programs. Virtually no money went to comprehensive sex education. Today the only sex education for more than a third of all students is "abstinence only," even thoughthis curriculum teaches falsehoods about condom effectiveness rates andother matters.¨ http://www.sistersong.net/documents/RJBriefingBook.pdfAnnie,

(*this statistic was disputed by Annie, but i could not find any reliable sources to support her claim that the goverment has a large budget for sex education)

You brought up the Uganda solution, you wrote: ¨From thePresident on down, they emphasized abstinence not condoms, not abortion,and they have seen great results in reducing STDs and abortions¨
You misunderstand the Uganda solution. The name of the program is called the ABC approach. A - abstain, B be faithfull, C use condoms. where did you read your info? here is some more info about Uganda.
¨Reports of consistent condom use by men rose to more than 50 percent by 2002, compared with 10 percent a decade earlier. Among women, reports of condom use rose from virtually zero to 25 percent. http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/02/24/MNG2PBG3VF1.DTL

¨ABC is far from all that Uganda has done. Uganda, he noted, "pioneered approaches towards reducing stigma, bringing discussion of sexual behaviorout into the open, involving HIV-infected people in public education, persuading individuals and couples to be tested and counseled, improvingthe status of women, involving religious organizations, enlisting traditional healers, and much more."

¨The U.S. researchers found that the single greatest factor lowering the percentage of Rakai people infected by HIV was the premature deaths ofthose who were infected earlier with HIV and subsequently died of AIDS....In the Rakai district, however, researchers found that abstinence andfidelity have actually been declining, but the expected rise in HIVinfections stemming from such behavior has not occurred. http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/tgr/06/5/gr060501.html


There is simply not enough funding of government programs to pay for childcare, health problems, followup doctor visits, etc.¨Approximately 40 million Americans, including about 9 million children, lack health insurance. It is estimated that an additional 10 - 15 million people have some coverage but not enough, and that an additional 2 million people have lost other health plans along with their jobs in therecent economic downturn.¨ www.motherfriendly.org¨

"22% of America's already born children live in poverty¨

"a pregnant womanwould not be covered for any injury or disease she suffers that does notdirectly affect the pregnancy, nor apparently, would she be covered if shesuffers a miscarriage or stillbirth, as more than 900,000 women do eachyear¨http://www.sistersong.net/documents/RJBriefingBook.pdf

there are quite a few other statistics i didn´t have time to find exactwebsites for. For example the amount of cases prosecuted of child abuse is about one percent. There is too much backlog and not enough workers. Or daycare centers for mothers who need to work to support the family are too expensive and the families will end up forgoing medial care or other vital options.

Last topic - evironment: This is existing all over the world, including the U.S. Right now there are over 1,305 superfund sites scheduled for cleanup

¨About 11 million people in the U.S., including 3-4 million children, livewithin 1 mile of a federal Superfund site and confront potential publichealth risks¨ http://www.scorecard.org/env-releases/land/

¨Reproductive toxicity may be expressed as alterations in sexual behavior,decreases in fertility, or loss of the fetus during pregnancy.¨ visit the website for the list of over 80 toxicants that are recognized.(not including those that are suspected) that are in these superfund sites.

-lawsuit against General motors for contaminating the lt lawerence rivermaking it unsafe to breastfeed. http://www.advocatesforpregnantwomen.org/

¨All scientific experts agree that exposure to mercury is especially toxicto fetuses and children. Like lead, mercury is a highly toxic heavy metalthat can cause brain damage and learning disabilities, and often causesirreversible neurological damage.¨http://www.epa.gov/region09/toxic/lead/enforcement.html

¨Within the U.S., an estimated 10 tons of highly toxic mercury arereleased to the environment each year from mercury-containing lightswitches during the shredding and crushing of old vehicles¨http://www.epa.gov/region09/toxic/lead/enforcement.html

I chose to use a lot of quotes for this one, to help show that this is just a small sample of tons of info of problems related to female health andchildcare other than abortion.i hope this shows that there is a wider debate than making abortionillegal. And those of us that cannot agree about the right to abortionshould all argree on these other topics. That there is substantial healthrisk to ALL people because of the environment. this includes pregant womenand children. There is currently not enough programs for children inpoverty, or pregnant mothers to be raising healthy children. And that´lifesavings education of STD´s pregancy prevention is inadaquate.


Annie`s Reply to me about Uganda:
The info I have is that "Uganda's success against HIV is due to abstinence, behaviour change and community, not condoms" as found in a study published in SCIENCE journal. http://www.aidsmap.com/en/news/ed007047-0e93-4964-9fba-aa887d42817e.asp :
As for later reports that "condom use was responsible for Uganda's stable levels of AIDS", we debunked that study here, two years ago, http://afterabortion.blogspot.com/2005/02/its-condoms-that-are-responsible-for.html .

My reply to Annie:
found the Uganda statistics that i posted from a consensus of seven websites i looked at. They were not pro choice sites. And the C in the ABC approach Does stand for condom. and you blatantly stated in your first response that condoms were not used. Most my information was found on government funded websites - who seek to promote it. The perception of Human Rights Watch is actually not that great in many conflict countries. I think their research is important, but they are still a U.S dominated human rights group. Therefore they are considered rather conservative and what they say must be taken with a grain of salt.

I read the study that you cited saying condoms didn`t work in Uganda. Here are some problems I found with it. I will compare your website to the USAID source. This is the source that founded and promoted the ABC approach. (rather than choosing a critical website of the ABC approach) Because in fact the ABC approach is criticized heavily by most human rights groups. I`ll call your website NAM.

1. NAM: says ¨Cambridge investigators established that HIV incidence was declining in Uganda by the late 1980s, and that by 1995 there had been significant declines in HIV prevalence, ¨-

but... u.s.aids shows that AIDS rates kept climbing and even peaked in 1992.

NAM: "The investigators established that HIV prevalence in pregnant women aged 15-24 peaked at 21% in 1991, but by 1998 had fallen to 9.7%,

-u.s. aids show that it peaked at 30% in 1991

NAM: ¨The number of individuals reporting casual sex in neighbouring countries did not change substantially between these dates. (1993 -2000)

¨u.s.aids In Kenya, there has been a marked decline in prevalence in recent years, (1) during which time national surveys have reported clear, positive changes in sexual behavior.- in Kenya from 1998 to 2003 reported more than a 50% drop in casual sex. (just like uganda)

NAM¨.... However, comparable numbers of Ugandans and individuals living in neighbouring countries reported condom use. This suggested to the investigators that “reduction in sexual partners and abstinence among unmarried sexually inexperienced youth … rather than condom use,¨

ME: - The whole basis for this claim is completely refuted. Not only was the issue very simplified they did not even use correct info. Excluding a 50% reduction rate in casual sex in Kenya is a large statistic to `get wrong` . And it is off of this deleting of information that it was concluded that condom use was ineffective! also, on this SAME website (NAM - Aidsmap) they say this:
¨although a recent study presented at the Twelfth Annual Retrovirus Conference in Boston last February, found that it was mortality, and not behaviour change, that was responsible for 80% of this reduced prevalence in one Ugandan district.¨ they also quote Human Rights Watch condoning the fact that information of condom use is being withheld in many districts. perhaps you viewed the part of NAM Aidsmap that was tampered with.http://www.aidsmap.com/en/news/EF01AD9F-9733-412C-B282-30DF89760ED1.asp

you say ¨I'm not putting your comment through on the PLB because it isn't a forum for those who refuse to accept bona fide scientific research and scientists who have the proofs to validly disagree with the abortion establishment¨ hmmmmm

martes, 9 de octubre de 2007

40 anniversary of the death of che

i feel worried about my city today....
I have just come from the Transmilenio in the Calendaria. The streets were lined with police. My first thought was wondering if there had been a bomb threat. Since there had been demonstrations throughout the city, especially at the universities. I believe instead that they are doing another cleansing. There were `ambulances` all over and i witnessed them pulling a homesless boy towards one of them. Taking money from another. Searching a different man. Police are choking this city.
At the university i could tell what street the demonstrations were on because of the explosions. I sat outside the entrance with the other kids watching the scene. Four tanks, riot squads, vs. students baracaded inside. The potato bombs were the most effective. After a good shot at the tanks, perhaps underneath it, or smashing a window the spectators would all clap and cheer. As if the tanks and bombs are simply there for our enjoyment. To imagine ourselves actually harming the state in the same way the tanks are harmed. Or maybe it is too close to reality. A tank leaves to resupply its ammunition of tear gas and water, or possibly it is too damaged to continue and its reinforcement is sent shortly. One tank down is nothing compared to the army behind it. A paper cut does not kill the body.
This demonstration was not as exciting and entertaining as the others. If i may use fear as my barometer. The students left once the fireworks of potato bombs and fire stopped raining down. no more excitement.... time to go home. Or perhaps i have just become used to the sight of tanks and police to surpress young people like myself. That we have no right to demonstrate in peace. The protests only become Real exciting when someone dies. Fabulously that is. The streets may be cleansed but i won`t know how many people have been shot quietly on this rainy afternoon.
Viva El Che! Viva la Revoluciòn! oppression is rampant and widespread and must be fought. Not only against the representives - the tax officials, the police, the military, the politicians... but against the Apparatus. with our ideas. through our taxes that finance blood and war. We can fight because we have acceptance of others. To love life and people! Not not hold hate in our hearts to not care about the deaths of others that are not quite like us.
To govern less, is to govern better. And i withdraw my support from these regimes of violence and destruction. I belong to no state. A government is made up of people. And if the people resist, the government falls.
We do not wait for the masses to vote upon a moral measure. Arudanti Roy... "so then do massacres and genocides become left up to a vote?"
today... I am worried about my city

sábado, 6 de octubre de 2007

Outlaw Culture: Bell Hooks

Great book. Some thoughts:
"The assumption that domination is not only natural but central to the civilizing process is deeply rooted in our cultural mind set"
We make excuses not to live as humans. Because it is the incapable human that must acheive not on his own but ontop of the back of another. domintation is the excuse of the weak. To be civilized is to be better than another. To disrespect another. To not understand the other.... domination is contra everything to be valued in mankind.
power over is not acheived through mutual respect of humanity.

"What would it mean for us to look at biography not from the standpoint of peoples accomplishments, but from what people desired"

"how can you work to end one form of domintation, but not the other... examining these blind spots, i conclude that many of us are motivated to move against domination soley when we feel our self interest directly threatened"

" untill we are all able to accept the interlocking interdependence and nature of systems of domination and recognzied specific ways each system is maintained, we will continue to act in ways that undermine our individual quest for freedom and collective liberation struggle.

Bell Hook{s writing has helped me to understand oppression better. No matter what kind it is, it is dehumanizing. and we must always interrogate ourselves do understand how we have incorporated this into our daily lives, both as victims and perpetrators.
It is impossible therefor for me to denounce crimes against women without denouncing the crimes against the masses of poor people here in Colombia. Or to only acknowledge the suffering of a specific people. Suffering is suffering.
Ill have to write more later because i am hungover and cant think very well.

The thoughts i had on my mind were on education. I quit my spanish course because the classes were authoritarian, focused on grammar, and not an environment conducive to learning. I was so excited to be involved in a language program after studying by myself for so long. At one of the most radical Universities in Colombia. Complete with protests, lectures, student assasinations, police raids, craziness! not meant to be. my teacher was disrespectfull and i was hoping it was just her. But the next professor was just the same. even if they had let me into the higher level his methods were the same as hers. And i cant understand the idea that a student comes to them and says " i want to learn! i want to be challenged! put me in a higher level." no. you can´t because your grammar isnt good enough. But i want to learn......

Pedagogy of Education: if it doesnt change the way you view life, it is not education. To undertand what, must be coupled with understanding Why.
The area inside the classroom is very important. Respect for students (and teacher), democracy, nonjudgemental, interrogating ideas,

"another task of the university and its triad of activities -teaching, research, and community work - is to create, live, and search out the passion of curiosity. This passion cannot be taught if it is not also lived or if the conditions for its development are not provided"
- paulo freire

I consider myself full of curiosity and love learning, and understanding more and more about the world. To be in a classroom, with people with the same passion, guided by a teacher who can can facilitate the process of learning would be such a wonderful experience.
Some day....

I just got three new books for the next two weeks. One is absolutely fabulous. Selected essays about nonviolence. Not only is there passionate pleas for peace to appeal to the conscience, but essays pleaing for our rationality to understand the absurdity of government. i am in a private war with the state...

I also found another book `anthem` by Ayn Rand. The more i read her books the more similar they become to socialism to me. ha. she is probably turning in her grave with that. I think socialism and communism has been perverted by society and by the states that pursue it. The principal idea is to live out your talents with out other inhibiting, and working together in a community that allows this to be possible. In Atlas Shrugged she creates a utopian society where everybody works the work that is which they love. work is the meduim of exchange. And the tradegy of `We the Living` is to watch the degredation of a man who would have been perfect if not for the oppression of the state the cripples people`s ability to be human. ... if they only knew, what this life meant to me...` The same ideas i encounter in Nelson Mandela`s autobiography: what these men could have been if they were respected as men, and allowed to live... as men. My favorite authors all have the same principle`s. To pursue creative talents, to use your mind! I`ll have to write more later comparing Ayn Rand`s capatalist society to that of Che Guevara`s idealistic society. But i am running out of time...

lunes, 1 de octubre de 2007

Volunteering

First actual day of setting up my soon to be volunteer work was on Saturday.
The barrio of Galan is quite poor, although the mayor og Bogota` is progressive. So that most areas have public schools. The area surrounding Galan is on a hill, which is being mined for various minerals. Gabriel told me (who is part of the labor group CGT) that the paramilitaries and government displaced the entire hillside of homes so that they could begin mining. Pointing to the other hillside full of homes, mentioned that this one was next.
The school was being used as a training for the police. We could not enter the classroom for half and hour untill they evacuated. Why choose a school for police training ground? indoctrination. In Aruaca, where i was at before there wa a large movement to get the military and police out of the school. With signs of a cross through the guns. Armned people (guerrilla, military, police, etc. are all banned) is the idea anyways.
On friday during my run I passed by a school of young children. For their protection is a man in military uniform with a machine gun walking around. Unfortunately i didn`t have my camera, is what quite an opposing view.
Military service is compulsory unless you pay to get out of it. Moreover, those with less education are usually sent to more dangerous areas. The police are now doing random ID checks on the Transmilenio (transportation system) in order to catch draftdodgers.
Back to Galan... the children have a range of ages and are the kids of the union of workers from the informal sector. aka those that sell fruit on the street, or vegetables, etc.
part of the program is extra education, part is to bring up other issues. The one we talked about on saturday was trust. Most the kids trusted very few people, or none at all. While distrust may be important because there are lots of bad people out there, one must still be capable of trust, and be open to the idea that there are people that care for them. Trust is also a large obstacle to form a workers union and a community of shared resources.
one of the older girls (12-13) began asking me questions about what i thought of the poverty of Bogota, and what was my opinion on abortion.
I bypassed the stance that this is a topic of morality that i should not discuss.
I told her that I felt that abortion was a personal issue and no one else has the right to tell anyone else that they should or shouldn`t get an abortion.
Abortion was recently legalized in Colombia last year. Correction: it was legalized in cases of immenent death for the mother, in cases where rape can be proved, or when the mother is passing on a lethal disease to the baby. There were 11 abortions peformed (legally) in Bogota` last year.
Other topics of Colombia: I read an article recently of the fighting between different factions of the AUC in Eastern colombia. (near Villavecenia which is where i took my last vacation... interesting how these fights just spring up...) This is a new phenomenom because usually the AUC is fighting against the guerrillas, killing for pay union organizers, displacing communities, working alongside the military, or what have you. But never before have they been fighting against eachother. My roommate claims it is a product of the disarmament. Some groups have turned in their guns, while others wish to keep on fighting. They are no longer under the same umbrella of AUC. I have a wider version of this. I believe that this is the result of 20 years of government policy supporing violent militias. Gabriel simplified it to being about territory. The disuputed land is on route to the border of Venezuela. Paramilitaries are heavily involved in drug trafficking, kidnapping, and killing for money. Especially power. Except now they are out of control of the government which would like them do be doing these things only when asked to. Paramilitaries fighting eachother for territory, is now one more aspect of violence Colombians will have to deal with.
Humanitarian exhange. These talks took a sky dive over the summer when 11 politicans were killed by Farc. It is not known yet whether they were killed (as FARC claims) when the military violated the ceasefire and so they killed them. Or as the government claims FARC wanted to send a message which is why the 11 people were killed. Talks are resuming once again. Hugo Chavez is a mediator. Vamos a ver.